Women have valued friendship for years. Thanks to a 10-year study in Australia we know that friendships predict longevity better than close family ties and boost our health.
In a nutshell, they identified ‘types’ of friendships: a childhood friend, a new friend, a workout friend, a spiritual friend, a younger friend, a partner’s friends, your mom, yourself. [For more information about the study, check the current issue of ‘Prevention.’]
Only a few of you can claim to be my childhood friend since I lived in a town with less than 600 people until I was 12. Maybe because of that background and secure environment, I wasn’t afraid to talk to people, find a common interests, and make friends.
As a mother my interests and time were limited to work, immediate family, and school for a few years. Believe me there were times this genuinely frustrated me. I craved the contact with other adults and different perspectives on events, fashion, or just the world in general.
Just about a year ago I visited a women’s service organization here in Topeka. While the women in the group have varied social, professional, and educational backgrounds, we have a common thread of interest in working to improve the lives of girls and women. I have gained friends of various levels of interest by joining them.
Working on our service projects, I have come to know more layers of another mother. We have been acquainted for at least six years, but because we’ve discussed different aspects of Soroptimist service projects I learned we are both concerned about some of the same issues. I think we found a bond besides our children.
Because of Soroptimist I also gained some younger friends – outside of moms from where my kids go to school and away from the office. It’s valuable to get the perspective of a younger woman (whom you’re not related to) when you want an honest opinion on how you look or need advice on working your iPod (when the kids have told you until they no longer have patience), or how to let your phone complete the text instead of typing individual letters! That alone lowered my blood pressure.
This time of year many of us make resolutions to improve our lives. If your resolution is to improve your health, the most fun way I can think of is to make more friends. I’ll introduce you to some of mine at a Soroptimist meeting!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fantasy v- Reality
Maria Shriver and Christie Hefner were recently interviewed on NBC about how women are portrayed in the media. Check NBC online for information.
You may ask why as a Soroptimist, or as a woman, should I be concerned about the results. Here are some of the facts:
US Dept of labor’s 2008 statistics indicate the top five jobs women hold: secretaries and administrative assistants, registered nurses, elementary and middle school teachers, cashiers and retail sales. Life isn’t so accurately reflected on TV where women and girls get the impression that motivated females balance family, career, and social needs with every problem solved in one or two episodes.
Even attempts at no-frills, middle income American women portray women in a less than favorable light. Definitely an unrealistic portrait. Today’s women generally appear silly, almost dumb and dependent on the attractive male partner or boss. The only exception I could think of right now is ‘Ugly Betty’ as struggling to become independent.
I have pondered these issues before since I have a daughter. I thought maybe I was highly sensitive since I was a product of the ‘70s when we looked to Mary Tyler Moore and Billy Jean King as barrier breakers.
When we looked at the Dove Project, then decided to work as a club with the YWCA’s DiscoverME programs, it made me realize that we - mothers, aunts, grandmas, working women – are responsible for seeing that the youngest generation have good role models to build on. The desire to be just like Meredith Gray, Lynnette Scavo, or Temperance Bones isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but girls need real women to temper the fantasy and support them through the real life challenges/choices they’ll face before they achieve those dreams.
We, the working women of the 21st Century, must help guide, support, mentor, and encourage those who will come behind us. Instead of a year where the first woman wins a Noble Prize, we'll be celebrating the successes of many!
You may ask why as a Soroptimist, or as a woman, should I be concerned about the results. Here are some of the facts:
US Dept of labor’s 2008 statistics indicate the top five jobs women hold: secretaries and administrative assistants, registered nurses, elementary and middle school teachers, cashiers and retail sales. Life isn’t so accurately reflected on TV where women and girls get the impression that motivated females balance family, career, and social needs with every problem solved in one or two episodes.
Even attempts at no-frills, middle income American women portray women in a less than favorable light. Definitely an unrealistic portrait. Today’s women generally appear silly, almost dumb and dependent on the attractive male partner or boss. The only exception I could think of right now is ‘Ugly Betty’ as struggling to become independent.
I have pondered these issues before since I have a daughter. I thought maybe I was highly sensitive since I was a product of the ‘70s when we looked to Mary Tyler Moore and Billy Jean King as barrier breakers.
When we looked at the Dove Project, then decided to work as a club with the YWCA’s DiscoverME programs, it made me realize that we - mothers, aunts, grandmas, working women – are responsible for seeing that the youngest generation have good role models to build on. The desire to be just like Meredith Gray, Lynnette Scavo, or Temperance Bones isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but girls need real women to temper the fantasy and support them through the real life challenges/choices they’ll face before they achieve those dreams.
We, the working women of the 21st Century, must help guide, support, mentor, and encourage those who will come behind us. Instead of a year where the first woman wins a Noble Prize, we'll be celebrating the successes of many!
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