Women have valued friendship for years. Thanks to a 10-year study in Australia we know that friendships predict longevity better than close family ties and boost our health.
In a nutshell, they identified ‘types’ of friendships: a childhood friend, a new friend, a workout friend, a spiritual friend, a younger friend, a partner’s friends, your mom, yourself. [For more information about the study, check the current issue of ‘Prevention.’]
Only a few of you can claim to be my childhood friend since I lived in a town with less than 600 people until I was 12. Maybe because of that background and secure environment, I wasn’t afraid to talk to people, find a common interests, and make friends.
As a mother my interests and time were limited to work, immediate family, and school for a few years. Believe me there were times this genuinely frustrated me. I craved the contact with other adults and different perspectives on events, fashion, or just the world in general.
Just about a year ago I visited a women’s service organization here in Topeka. While the women in the group have varied social, professional, and educational backgrounds, we have a common thread of interest in working to improve the lives of girls and women. I have gained friends of various levels of interest by joining them.
Working on our service projects, I have come to know more layers of another mother. We have been acquainted for at least six years, but because we’ve discussed different aspects of Soroptimist service projects I learned we are both concerned about some of the same issues. I think we found a bond besides our children.
Because of Soroptimist I also gained some younger friends – outside of moms from where my kids go to school and away from the office. It’s valuable to get the perspective of a younger woman (whom you’re not related to) when you want an honest opinion on how you look or need advice on working your iPod (when the kids have told you until they no longer have patience), or how to let your phone complete the text instead of typing individual letters! That alone lowered my blood pressure.
This time of year many of us make resolutions to improve our lives. If your resolution is to improve your health, the most fun way I can think of is to make more friends. I’ll introduce you to some of mine at a Soroptimist meeting!
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fantasy v- Reality
Maria Shriver and Christie Hefner were recently interviewed on NBC about how women are portrayed in the media. Check NBC online for information.
You may ask why as a Soroptimist, or as a woman, should I be concerned about the results. Here are some of the facts:
US Dept of labor’s 2008 statistics indicate the top five jobs women hold: secretaries and administrative assistants, registered nurses, elementary and middle school teachers, cashiers and retail sales. Life isn’t so accurately reflected on TV where women and girls get the impression that motivated females balance family, career, and social needs with every problem solved in one or two episodes.
Even attempts at no-frills, middle income American women portray women in a less than favorable light. Definitely an unrealistic portrait. Today’s women generally appear silly, almost dumb and dependent on the attractive male partner or boss. The only exception I could think of right now is ‘Ugly Betty’ as struggling to become independent.
I have pondered these issues before since I have a daughter. I thought maybe I was highly sensitive since I was a product of the ‘70s when we looked to Mary Tyler Moore and Billy Jean King as barrier breakers.
When we looked at the Dove Project, then decided to work as a club with the YWCA’s DiscoverME programs, it made me realize that we - mothers, aunts, grandmas, working women – are responsible for seeing that the youngest generation have good role models to build on. The desire to be just like Meredith Gray, Lynnette Scavo, or Temperance Bones isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but girls need real women to temper the fantasy and support them through the real life challenges/choices they’ll face before they achieve those dreams.
We, the working women of the 21st Century, must help guide, support, mentor, and encourage those who will come behind us. Instead of a year where the first woman wins a Noble Prize, we'll be celebrating the successes of many!
You may ask why as a Soroptimist, or as a woman, should I be concerned about the results. Here are some of the facts:
US Dept of labor’s 2008 statistics indicate the top five jobs women hold: secretaries and administrative assistants, registered nurses, elementary and middle school teachers, cashiers and retail sales. Life isn’t so accurately reflected on TV where women and girls get the impression that motivated females balance family, career, and social needs with every problem solved in one or two episodes.
Even attempts at no-frills, middle income American women portray women in a less than favorable light. Definitely an unrealistic portrait. Today’s women generally appear silly, almost dumb and dependent on the attractive male partner or boss. The only exception I could think of right now is ‘Ugly Betty’ as struggling to become independent.
I have pondered these issues before since I have a daughter. I thought maybe I was highly sensitive since I was a product of the ‘70s when we looked to Mary Tyler Moore and Billy Jean King as barrier breakers.
When we looked at the Dove Project, then decided to work as a club with the YWCA’s DiscoverME programs, it made me realize that we - mothers, aunts, grandmas, working women – are responsible for seeing that the youngest generation have good role models to build on. The desire to be just like Meredith Gray, Lynnette Scavo, or Temperance Bones isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but girls need real women to temper the fantasy and support them through the real life challenges/choices they’ll face before they achieve those dreams.
We, the working women of the 21st Century, must help guide, support, mentor, and encourage those who will come behind us. Instead of a year where the first woman wins a Noble Prize, we'll be celebrating the successes of many!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
3 Degrees of Happiness?
An early 1990’s movie was based on the theory that everyone on earth is only six people away from knowing everyone else.
Now a couple British social scientists have studied thousands of people to show that happiness is contagious! The study, published last winter in a medical journal, suggest happiness spreads from person to person up to three people out. It is contagious through our social networks – neighbors, friends, family and relatives, coworkers, church members – shaping what we do and how we feel.
In the lyrics of a song, whose artist and title escape me, it says “Take a hand everybody and show you’re proud. There is happiness to be.” Thinking of the happiness study, it made me think how Soroptimist members take the hand (to serve) of women and girls in our community.
Think how many different ways that ripples out with happiness.
From personal experience, there’s the happiness I feel when working on a project with other women – seeing our positive action make something better. We’re all working together so we achieve more than I could by myself.
Then there is the happiness the work brings to others. Hopefully when the shelter residents get our care bags, it brightens their day. The organizations that get our donated linens are less stressed about providing for their clients and they are happier. I’m sure the WOA recipients are happier when they learn we’ll help their educational efforts.
Next because those folks are happier, I hope they spread it on to someone else. Maybe that happiness leads to them having the confidence to start a new job, finish school, or use their talents to help someone else.
Our community service committee is taking a survey of talents. It’s a good time to reflect on all our personal talents, things we can be happy about, and think how we can use those to spread happiness in our own network!
Now a couple British social scientists have studied thousands of people to show that happiness is contagious! The study, published last winter in a medical journal, suggest happiness spreads from person to person up to three people out. It is contagious through our social networks – neighbors, friends, family and relatives, coworkers, church members – shaping what we do and how we feel.
In the lyrics of a song, whose artist and title escape me, it says “Take a hand everybody and show you’re proud. There is happiness to be.” Thinking of the happiness study, it made me think how Soroptimist members take the hand (to serve) of women and girls in our community.
Think how many different ways that ripples out with happiness.
From personal experience, there’s the happiness I feel when working on a project with other women – seeing our positive action make something better. We’re all working together so we achieve more than I could by myself.
Then there is the happiness the work brings to others. Hopefully when the shelter residents get our care bags, it brightens their day. The organizations that get our donated linens are less stressed about providing for their clients and they are happier. I’m sure the WOA recipients are happier when they learn we’ll help their educational efforts.
Next because those folks are happier, I hope they spread it on to someone else. Maybe that happiness leads to them having the confidence to start a new job, finish school, or use their talents to help someone else.
Our community service committee is taking a survey of talents. It’s a good time to reflect on all our personal talents, things we can be happy about, and think how we can use those to spread happiness in our own network!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Ingredients for Life
More than one club or organization has a mission statement or one of its core values the importance of women helping women or women helping girls. I think it is natural for us to want to help each other, share experiences, maybe even save others from similar misfortunes.
My teenage daughter and I saw Julie and Julia together recently. We share a passion for cooking. What I hadn’t expected was how much more we both learned about each other on the ride home after the movie.
Julia Childs didn’t settle for a French cooking class for housewives, she insisted on being part of the class for professional cooks – all male in those days. Young women and girls don’t experience those limitations today.
Both Julie and Julia discovered they had a passion for cooking. That passion led their lives/careers into new directions. Both women also had wonderfully supporting husbands; not the ‘yes dear’ but fully engaged support that most of us seek from our girlfriends.
Soon SITK members will have an opportunity to be fully engaged and support young girls. I’m so excited about this. There will be diverse ways for us to interact so that time or skills won’t limit our involvement. I encourage all of us to be involved as we really can make a difference - we can help them discover themselves and their passion for life. We can help them find the ingredients for life so they can create their own 'recipes!'
My teenage daughter and I saw Julie and Julia together recently. We share a passion for cooking. What I hadn’t expected was how much more we both learned about each other on the ride home after the movie.
Julia Childs didn’t settle for a French cooking class for housewives, she insisted on being part of the class for professional cooks – all male in those days. Young women and girls don’t experience those limitations today.
Both Julie and Julia discovered they had a passion for cooking. That passion led their lives/careers into new directions. Both women also had wonderfully supporting husbands; not the ‘yes dear’ but fully engaged support that most of us seek from our girlfriends.
Soon SITK members will have an opportunity to be fully engaged and support young girls. I’m so excited about this. There will be diverse ways for us to interact so that time or skills won’t limit our involvement. I encourage all of us to be involved as we really can make a difference - we can help them discover themselves and their passion for life. We can help them find the ingredients for life so they can create their own 'recipes!'
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Getting Started
Starting is the hardest part of a new endeavor. I guess we build up walls of resistance or excuses of why we can’t do something. An inspiring presentation by Deb Payne, Lighthouse Coaching, at our monthly AWE meeting sort of pushed me to start a blog. I’ve thought about it before, but had misled myself!
Networking and sharing resources have helped me to solve problems before. Over 20 years ago when I was thrust into a new responsibility, I learned from the business practices of others by networking. As small government agencies we had limited resources, but by working together we became a team and were able to accomplish tasks together.
Networking helped me as I started my own Weekenders business. Of course I already worked with women in my full-time job and there were moms at the kids’ activities, but I needed to enlarge my circle. Reality: when you have a party plan business, there are a limited number of times you can ask the same moms to be your hostess or to come shop! I visited women’s organizations to tell them about the mix and match concept (my favorite M&Ms), the easy care/easy wear fashions, or the latest wardrobe coordinates for the season.
I soon discovered they were trying to meet more women too. Well wouldn’t it be easier if we worked together? I’ll let you know about events/topics you’ve expressed an interest in then you can share the name of a great tailor (useful for my petite customers) or where to get another service. Real networking isn’t about direct selling to each attendee, but the circle of relationships, of the give AND take, discovering who is a reliable resource person.
So starting my blog is about sharing resources and getting started. My favorite links today are what my Weekenders business offers you. My plan is for future links to share mostly articles and tips on goods/services I’ve found useful. My blogs will relate to one or more link as they are added.
If you have information to share, let me know so I can put it on my Clothesline. (Thanks again Deb Payne, I got started!)
Networking and sharing resources have helped me to solve problems before. Over 20 years ago when I was thrust into a new responsibility, I learned from the business practices of others by networking. As small government agencies we had limited resources, but by working together we became a team and were able to accomplish tasks together.
Networking helped me as I started my own Weekenders business. Of course I already worked with women in my full-time job and there were moms at the kids’ activities, but I needed to enlarge my circle. Reality: when you have a party plan business, there are a limited number of times you can ask the same moms to be your hostess or to come shop! I visited women’s organizations to tell them about the mix and match concept (my favorite M&Ms), the easy care/easy wear fashions, or the latest wardrobe coordinates for the season.
I soon discovered they were trying to meet more women too. Well wouldn’t it be easier if we worked together? I’ll let you know about events/topics you’ve expressed an interest in then you can share the name of a great tailor (useful for my petite customers) or where to get another service. Real networking isn’t about direct selling to each attendee, but the circle of relationships, of the give AND take, discovering who is a reliable resource person.
So starting my blog is about sharing resources and getting started. My favorite links today are what my Weekenders business offers you. My plan is for future links to share mostly articles and tips on goods/services I’ve found useful. My blogs will relate to one or more link as they are added.
If you have information to share, let me know so I can put it on my Clothesline. (Thanks again Deb Payne, I got started!)
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